Days 1–7
- Love Believes the Best
2. Love Is Patient
3. Love Is Kind
4. Love Is Not Selfish
5. Love Is Thoughtful
6. Love Is Not Rude
7. Love Is Not Irritable
SESSION 1 – AUGUST 19, 2026
FOUNDATIONS OF LOVE: PATIENCE AND KINDNESS
Biblical love is not merely a feeling—it is a daily choice to show patience and kindness just as Christ has shown to us.
Outline
I. LOVE IS MORE THAN A FEELING
1 Corinthians 13:4 KJV
- Love is a choice
- Love is an action
- Love is a commitment
Real love is demonstrated, not just declared.
Love Begins with Patience and Kindness
1 Corinthians 13:4 (KJV)
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.”
Introduction
When people think of love, they often think of feelings. God begins somewhere much deeper. In 1 Corinthians 13, He doesn’t describe love by how it feels—He describes it by how it behaves.
The very first two qualities of biblical love are patience and kindness. That is no accident. A Christ-centered marriage is not built on perfect people but on two imperfect people who choose to be patient and kind with each other every day.
Love is more than saying, “I love you.” Love proves itself by the way we treat one another.
What Does Biblical Love Look Like?
“Charity suffereth long…”
To “suffer long” means to be patient when someone disappoints you, frustrates you, or falls short of your expectations.
Patience doesn’t ignore problems, but it gives grace while working through them.
Marriage gives us daily opportunities to practice patience:
- When communication breaks down.
- When plans don’t go as expected.
- When mistakes are made.
- When our spouse is struggling.
Patient love chooses understanding instead of irritation.
“…and is kind.”
Kindness is love in action.
Kindness is more than being polite. It is choosing words and actions that encourage, comfort, and build up another person.
A kind spouse:
- Speaks gently.
- Listens carefully.
- Serves willingly.
- Encourages often.
- Forgives quickly.
Sometimes the smallest act of kindness—a hug, a note of encouragement, a helping hand, or a sincere “thank you”—can completely change the atmosphere of a home.
Three Truths for Marriage
I. Love Gives Grace Instead of Keeping Score
No husband or wife is perfect.
Love remembers that God has been patient with us, so we should be patient with one another.
Grace always builds stronger relationships than criticism.
II. Love Celebrates Instead of Competing
“Charity envieth not…”
Real love rejoices when your spouse succeeds.
There is no room for jealousy or comparison in a Christ-centered marriage.
Your spouse is your partner, not your competitor.
When one succeeds, both are blessed.
III. Love Walks in Humility Instead of Pride
“Charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.”
Pride says, “It’s all about me.”
Love says, “How can I help you?”
Humility is the foundation of every healthy marriage. It is willing to apologize, quick to forgive, and eager to put the other person’s needs ahead of its own.
The strongest marriages are built by two humble hearts seeking to honor Christ together.
Love Dare Challenge
Today, choose one intentional act of patience and one intentional act of kindness toward your spouse.
Maybe it’s:
- Listening without interrupting.
- Offering encouragement instead of criticism.
- Helping with a task before being asked.
- Writing a note of appreciation.
- Simply saying, “Thank you for all you do.”
Remember, love grows through small acts of faithfulness repeated day after day.
“Love isn’t proven by grand gestures—it is revealed through patient hearts, kind words, and humble lives that reflect Jesus Christ.”
II. LOVE CHOOSES PATIENCE
Colossians 3:12 KJV
- Patience gives others room to grow
- Patience controls reactions
- Patience reflects God’s character
God is patient with us, so we should be patient with others.
Get Dressed Before You Leave the House
Colossians 3:12 (KJV)
“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;”
Introduction
Every morning, we make a choice about what we are going to wear. We carefully select our clothes before we leave the house because we know people will see them.
Paul says there is something even more important than the clothes we put on—our Christian character. As believers, we are to “put on” the qualities that reflect Jesus Christ. Those qualities are especially important at home, where our spouse sees us at our best and at our worst.
A successful marriage is not built by wearing the latest fashion. It is built by putting on the character of Christ every day.
“Bowels of mercies”
This speaks of a heart filled with compassion.
Compassion notices when your spouse is hurting, discouraged, or overwhelmed. Instead of reacting with criticism, compassion responds with understanding.
Ask yourself:
- “How are they really doing today?”
- “What burden are they carrying?”
- “How can I help?”
Love sees beyond actions and looks into the heart.
“Kindness”
Kindness is love expressed through words and actions.
Kindness can be as simple as:
- Saying “Thank you.”
- Offering a hug.
- Leaving an encouraging note.
- Speaking gently.
- Serving without being asked.
A home filled with kindness becomes a place of peace and safety.
“Humbleness of mind”
Humility means putting Christ first and others before yourself.
It says:
- “I may be wrong.”
- “Please forgive me.”
- “Your needs matter.”
- “Let’s solve this together.”
Pride divides.
Humility unites.
“Meekness”
Meekness is strength under God’s control.
It is not weakness.
It is choosing gentleness when you could respond harshly.
Jesus had all power, yet He was gentle and approachable.
Our spouses should experience that same gentle spirit from us.
“Longsuffering”
Longsuffering is patient love that refuses to quit.
Marriage requires patience because neither husband nor wife is perfect.
God has been patient with us.
We should extend that same patience to one another.
Three Truths for Marriage
I. Love Chooses Compassion Before Criticism
Ask what your spouse needs before pointing out what they did wrong.
A compassionate heart opens doors that harsh words keep closed.
II. Love Chooses Humility Before Pride
Healthy marriages are filled with two people who are willing to apologize, forgive, and grow together.
Humility always strengthens relationships.
III. Love Chooses Patience Before Frustration
Every marriage faces difficult days.
The difference is not the absence of problems but the presence of Christlike patience.
Love stays faithful because Christ has been faithful to us.
Love Dare Challenge
Before you leave home tomorrow morning, pause for a moment and ask God to help you “put on” these five qualities:
- Compassion
- Kindness
- Humility
- Gentleness
- Patience
Then look for one intentional way to wear each of them in your marriage throughout the day.
Remember, your spouse may forget what you wore, but they will remember how you treated them.
“The greatest thing you can wear each day is the character of Christ, because a marriage clothed in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience will always be beautiful in God’s sight.”
III. LOVE SHOWS KINDNESS
Colossians 3:12–14 KJV
- Kindness speaks gently
- Kindness serves willingly
- Kindness strengthens relationships
- Kindness is love in action.
[“The foundation of every strong relationship is learning to love with patience and kindness.”]
Put On Love Every Day
Colossians 3:12–14 (KJV)
“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.”
Introduction
Every morning we decide what we’re going to wear. We choose clothes that are appropriate for the day ahead. But before we ever put on our shoes or coat, God says there are spiritual garments every Christian should wear.
Paul tells us to “put on” the character of Christ. These qualities are not automatic—they are daily choices. If we want a Christ-centered marriage, we must intentionally clothe ourselves with attitudes that strengthen our relationship instead of tearing it down.
The final garment is the most important of all: love. Love holds every other Christian virtue together.
I. Put On a Heart of Compassion
Colossians 3:12
“Put on therefore… bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;”
Paul lists five qualities every marriage needs.
Compassion
Compassion sees beyond your spouse’s actions and tries to understand their heart.
Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with you?” ask, “What are you going through?”
Kindness
Kindness is love made visible.
A gentle word, a thoughtful note, a warm hug, or an unexpected act of service can speak louder than a thousand words.
Humility
Humility is the willingness to put your spouse before yourself.
Pride says, “I deserve better.”
Humility says, “How can I bless you today?”
Gentleness
Gentleness is strength under God’s control.
You can speak truth without being harsh.
You can correct without condemning.
Patience
Patience remembers that spiritual growth takes time.
God is still working on your spouse—and He’s still working on you.
Marriage Principle:
Healthy marriages are built one Christlike attitude at a time.
II. Practice Forgiveness Every Day
Colossians 3:13
“Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another… even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
No marriage survives without forgiveness.
Sooner or later, every husband and wife will disappoint one another.
Paul doesn’t simply tell us to forgive.
He tells us how to forgive.
We forgive the way Christ forgave us.
Think about His forgiveness:
- It is undeserved.
- It is complete.
- It is gracious.
- It is freely given.
Forgiveness does not say the hurt didn’t matter.
Forgiveness says, “Because Christ has forgiven me, I choose not to hold this against you.”
Marriage Principle:
You cannot build tomorrow’s marriage while holding on to yesterday’s hurts.
III. Put Love Above Everything Else
Colossians 3:14
“And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.”
Paul says that love is the garment worn over everything else.
Compassion without love becomes duty.
Kindness without love becomes routine.
Forgiveness without love becomes difficult.
But love ties every Christian virtue together.
Biblical love is a choice.
It serves.
It sacrifices.
It forgives.
It remains faithful.
When love is the foundation, the marriage becomes stronger because Christ is at the center.
Marriage Principle:
Love is the glue that holds a Christian marriage together.
Love Dare Challenge
Before you begin your day tomorrow, pray this simple prayer:
“Lord, help me put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and above all, Your love.”
Then intentionally show your spouse each of these qualities in one practical way.
Remember, your marriage is strengthened not by one grand moment but by many small acts of Christlike love.
“Every morning you choose what to wear. Choose to put on the character of Christ—and above all, put on love.”
Remember the six major lessons:
- Patience and Kindness
- Selfishness and Anger
- Communication and Respect
- Commitment and Sacrifice
- Forgiveness and Grace
- Living the Love Dare Daily
A great final takeaway is:
“The Love Dare is not about becoming a better spouse, friend, or family member first—it is about becoming more like Jesus Christ.”
Introduction
Most people think love is a feeling.
The world says:
- “I fell in love.”
- “I fell out of love.”
- “I don’t feel the same anymore.”
But God’s Word teaches that love is much more than a feeling.
Love is a choice.
Love is an action.
Love is a commitment.
The greatest example of love is Jesus Christ. He loved us when we were unlovable. He showed patience when we failed and kindness when we didn’t deserve it.
Tonight we begin our journey by learning the first two building blocks of biblical love: patience and kindness.
Scripture Reading
1 Corinthians 13:4 KJV
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.”
Colossians 3:12-14 KJV
“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.”
I. WHAT IS BIBLICAL LOVE?
A. Biblical Love Is More Than Emotion
Feelings come and go.
Godly love remains faithful.
Love is not based on circumstances.
B. Biblical Love Seeks Another Person’s Good
Love asks:
- How can I help?
- How can I serve?
- How can I encourage?
C. Biblical Love Reflects Christ
Jesus loved sacrificially.
The cross is God’s definition of love.
What is the biggest difference between the world’s idea of love and God’s idea of love?
II. LOVE IS A CHOICE
A. Love Is Chosen Daily
Every day we choose:
- Patience or impatience
- Kindness or harshness
- Grace or criticism
B. Love Acts Before It Feels
Many people wait until they feel loving.
God calls us to love first.
Feelings often follow faithful actions.
C. Love Requires Dependence Upon God
We cannot consistently love others in our own strength.
The Holy Spirit helps us love as Christ loved.
Can you think of a time when someone showed you love even when it was difficult?
III. THE IMPORTANCE OF PATIENCE AND KINDNESS
A. Patience Gives People Room to Grow
God is patient with us.
We should be patient with others.
B. Kindness Opens Hearts
A harsh word can wound.
A kind word can heal.
C. Patience and Kindness Build Strong Relationships
Most conflicts grow when patience disappears.
Most relationships flourish when kindness increases.
What is one practical way you can show patience or kindness this week?
Application
This week ask yourself:
- Am I treating others with patience?
- Am I speaking kindly?
- Do my actions reflect Christ’s love?
Assignment for Next Session
Complete Love Dare Days 1-7.
Keep a journal of:
- What you learned
- What challenged you
- How God worked in your relationships
Be prepared to share one lesson God taught you during the week.
In Christ,
Darrell
